Resentment comes from holding negative feelings, such as anger or displeasure, towards someone or something because of bad situation actually or thought to be caused by that person or thing. Clinging to resentment effects individuals emotionally and physically, and damages relationships with others. With someone struggling with drug or alcohol abuse, resentment may be a poor coping method that triggers substance use, and inhibits him or her from moving forward into new life. Overcoming resentments is a major part of chemical dependency treatment. Programs, like the ones at Bradford Health Services, teach individuals how to forgive others and accept the uncontrollable in order for them to cope with everyday stresses outside treatment.
Bradford’s 12-Step based treatment program assists patients to resolve resentments and embrace a more fulfilling life free of mind altering substances. For example, intervention rarely happens without someone becoming bitter. Patients often resent those who put them in treatment- whether that be a court system or loved ones. From the very start of treatment, patients must acknowledge their problem, and claim it as their responsibility to recovery. This first step requires them to stop blaming their surroundings for their situation, and understand that it is up to them to succeed.
Loved ones can also resent those struggling with addiction for their behavior. Finances, work or school, health, and family all fall away from someone with an addiction, which stresses and strains those around him or her. “Why are you lying to me?” “Can’t you see how drugs are damaging your body?” “Why can’t you just stop spending money on alcohol” “Don’t your children mean anything to you?” These hurtful questions can come from a legitimately concerned loved one. Addiction professionals at Bradford Health can provide friends and family guidance and information on drug and alcohol abuse. Family support groups are free and open and allows those who need to let go of their resentment by talking or listening to others in the similar situations.
If the issue is denial, resentment, a need for family services like the Concerned Person’s Group, or if an intervention is needed, Bradford has options to help patients and their family members. Resentment, guilt, and fear can be dealt with. Seeking treatment first is the key.
Three keys to overcoming resentment are:
Acknowledge all your feelings and actions as your own.
We can’t control everything around us, but we can control ourselves. Letting yourself get worked up about a bad situation will not help you solve it.
Express negative emotions
It’s okay to feel angry and upset. Keeping those emotions inside is not.
Calmly talk to the person that has upset you, explaining why you feel like you’re being treated unfairly. If you can’t remedy the situation, express yourself creatively or physically.
Let go of the negative emotions
Now that you’ve expressed yourself, let that bitterness and anger go.
You do not have to hold on to emotions. Instead, let go of the bitterness and anger and open yourself up to positive emotions.
Don’t let the past keep you from having a future. Overcome your resentments and start living today.