Connection vs Addiction
The human connection is one of the most powerful forces on earth. Addiction works to contaminate and pervert the meaningful relationships we have with loved ones. To connect and share a moment where two people are fully present, fully engaged in the “who” of the other person is powerful. When we can capture a moment, by sharing a gaze into another person’s eyes, hear deeply their words and share their hopes and dreams, we are both changed. Sharing in the moment often involves sharing their hurts and disappointments as well. This is the root of this human experience. Each of us needs connection and support when we fight against addiction.
Connection as an Essential Medicine
It is strange how a single connection with a loved one or friend is a natural medicine for pain. It can be an essential medicine that brings relief to our longing for love in daily doses. The most powerful word to call another person is “friend”. Many people have diluted the power of being fully present by just believing it is spending time together. Right connection is so much more than spending time together it is spending time looking and listening to the heart of another person.
Connection to a Friend or Loved One
When thinking of being a good friend it helps to remember a friend is “someone who can sing your song when you forget it.” Addiction robs us of meaningful connections, but sobriety begins to reconnect and rebuild the life lines we need to others who love us. Human beings need love like we need air, it is impossible to have successful recovery without successfully connecting in relationships regularly.
Connection requires Protection and Presence
Connecting with others needs to be done with care to protect the relationship by doing it with intention and managing each other’s expectations. Being fully focused on another person for a few minutes can be the most enjoyable relationship dynamic imaginable.
It is important to begin to protect your times of connection, to listen more than you talk, to have mercy and not judgement, and to be genuinely curious about how the other person sees the world. If we are interested in the other person and show true caring we will find others will be drawn to it and seek support and meaningful mutual connections.