The pain of being a loved one of someone who is struggling with addiction is real! As our hearts get broken over and over again, our mind often flashes back to the “what if’s” of life and choices. Some of the most common are:
- What if I had not let them go on that trip?
- What if I had kept them out of jail?
- What if I hadn’t gotten a divorce?
- What if we didn’t move from ____________?
- What if they never went off to school?
- What if I could have been a better parent?
There are a thousand more “what if’s” we could talk about but, none of these can fully explain or with all certainty guarantee that our loved one would not be right where they are, stuck in the grip of addiction. We all know that we don’t just make our choices our choices make us. The best way to view the “what if’s” in life is not to try to change the past but to start changing the future right now!
The quality of our answer is directly relative to the quality of our questions. The question is not, “Can I upset my loved one and send them off to get help?” the better question is, “HOW Can I upset my loved one and send them off to get help?”
If we want our future to be better than our past we are going to have to make different choices. Don’t let yourself be looking back in a few months or a few years and asking yourself, “What if I had made the decision to get my loved one in recovery back then…”
If my parent has an addiction, will I have one too?